An affirmation is a positive statement that you repeat when you want to create a certain thing or a certain condition in you life. If your life has been chaotic lately you might say an affirmation like "I live in perfect balance and harmony."
I've discovered that people either love or hate affirmations depending on how well the method has worked for them. If you repeat "I live in perfect balance and harmony" fifty times a day, and your life has changed for the better, you no doubt will be enthusiastic about the technique. If you still feel trapped in the depths of chaos, you probably aren't going to be a real fan of affirmations.
I have discovered that there is a key to the use of affirmations that you must have before they will work for you: Belief. You must believe that the statement made in your affirmation is attainable.
The repetition process of using an affirmation is supposed to help change your belief. For example, if all your romantic relationships have ended badly and you feel unlovable, repeating "I am lovable and attract only the right people into relationships" is supposed to change your belief from unlovable to lovable.
It isn't always that easy, though. We all have beliefs about ourselves that may be hidden. Rooting out these conflicting beliefs is a process that may need to be done before affirmations, as the practice stands now, will work for you.
However, the method can be tweaked in such a way that it may work for you even if you have a hidden belief that conflicts with your statement. I learned this from Tiffanie, a young woman whom I consider to be a spiritual daughter of mine.
Instead of finding or creating an affirmation statement that says "I can . . . :" or "I Have . . ." or "I (followed by the verb of your choice)," change it around so that it starts with a positive feeling for the thing or condition you want to create.
Say, "I am grateful and thankful now that I . . ." and then add your affirmative statement. For example, for changing the way you feel about yourself and your relationships, you would say "I am grateful and thankful now that I am lovable and attract only the right people into relationships."
The reason this works is this: if you are feeling negative about yourself and believe that your relationships always end badly, when you say your simple affirmation of "I am lovable and attract only the right people into relationships," your core belief (that you are not lovable, which came from the feelings generated by your previous experiences of relationships ending badly) is going to respond with a sarcastic, "yeah, right."
It's all about feelings; and feelings create beliefs! At some time in your life, you have felt thankful and grateful for something, and you know how good that feels. Instead of repeating that simple affirmation of "I am lovable. . .," put your energy into recreating and re-experiencing feeling grateful and thankful, and aim those feelings at the change you invite into your life, "I am grateful and thankful now that I am lovable. . ." the good feelings will override the negative belief and replace it with a positive one, and manifest the condition you are trying to create with your affirmation!
Today's tip comes under the heading of incredibly powerful but almost too simple to be true practices. Did you know you could change your mood by changing your breathing?
No doubt you already know that you tend to breathe shallowly when you are stressed, and that deep breathing will help you feel less stressed, more energized and relaxed both physically and mentally.
Here is a quick and easy way to help transform your mood from depressed, fearful or angry to happy and grateful.
The right hemisphere of the brain shows the most activity when you are feeling anger, fear, or depression. When you are feeling happiness and appreciation, this most often appears as left hemisphere brain activity.
Breathing through one nostril activates the opposite side of the brain: breathing through the left nostril activates the right hemisphere of the brain, and breathing through the right nostril activates the left hemisphere.
The next time you are feeling negative emotions like anger, fear, or resentment, and you want to improve your mood to one of happiness, and gratitude (which, of course, will improve your health!), close off your left nostril and inhale through only the right nostril to activate the left brain hemisphere associated with those positive emotions. By activating the left side of the brain, you activate positive emotions and feelings, too! You may enhance the practice by imagining that you are inhaling joy, appreciation, or love with each breath you take in.
You may exhale either through your nose or your mouth, but be careful to inhale only thorough the right nostril for eight to ten breaths. I suggest that you not imagine you are exhaling the anger or depression you are transforming because that will only bring your attention back to it. Don't even think of what you are trying to transform or release, just pay attention to the joy and love you are bringing in.
After eight to ten breaths through the right nostril, release the closed nostril and take a couple balancing breaths, inhaling through both nostrils and exhaling through the mouth.
Consider one cycle of this practice to be eight to ten right-nostril breaths followed by two or three balancing breaths. It may take a few cycles to change your mood, but if you stay with it for at least five minutes, I guarantee you will see improvement, and you'll certainly feel better for it!
We all know how feeling happy is one creative way to wellness, and that feelings of gratitude are very powerful creators of wellness as well as happiness. It seems that some scientists have confirmed it: Gratitude increases happiness
This is an article that was run in Bottom Line Secrets Newsletter of November 19, 2009
Science Discovers the Secret to Happiness By Robert A. Emmons, PhD University of California, Davis
Surprise: Research suggests that becoming more grateful could make each of us 25% happier -- and that being happy is the key to a longer, more successful life.
Our lives do not just seem better when we are happy -- they actually become better, according to a 2005 analysis of hundreds of psychological studies. Happy people tend to have longer, more loving marriages... are healthier... live an average of seven to nine years longer than chronically unhappy people... and have more successful careers. According to one study, happy college graduates had annual salaries $25,000 higher than unhappy graduates 16 years after graduation.
While an endless procession of self-help gurus have claimed to know the path to happiness, psychological studies generally have failed to confirm that proposed happiness strategies actually work.
One notable exception: Research conducted in the past decade appears to indicate that we can become happier by feeling more gratitude.
Bottom Line/Retirement asked psychology professor Robert A. Emmons, PhD, of the University of California, Davis, for more information...
What is "gratitude" to a psychologist?
In simple terms, gratitude is our affirmation of a benefit that we have received and our recognition that this benefit has come to us from outside of ourselves.
You say that becoming more grateful will make us happier. How do we know that it isn’t the other way around -- happiness creates gratitude?
Our research suggests that increases in happiness do not lead to increases in gratitude, but that increases in gratitude do in fact increase happiness. We designed a study to test this. Participants were divided into two groups, each of which were initially equally happy. Members of one of these groups were asked to write in a journal the things that they were grateful for, which made them more conscious of and grateful for the good fortune that came their way. At the end of the study, the journal-keeping group was 25% happier than members of the group that did not keep gratitude journals.
Why does feeling gratitude make us happier?
Primarily, I believe, it is because gratitude increases our sense of connection to other people. Having strong relationships is the single best predictor of happiness, and our relationships become stronger when we acknowledge the support we receive from those around us. Acknowledging the support we receive from others provides us with confirmation that we have value in other people’s eyes. Gratitude also buffers us from envy, resentment and regret, emotions that inhibit happiness.
Why do people often have trouble being grateful for what they have?
Lots of reasons. Most of us are fortunate to have pretty good lives, so our default reaction might be to take the benefits that come our way for granted. Consumerism and other cultural pressures can foster a sense that we deserve even more than we have. Our desire to see ourselves as self-sufficient makes it difficult to admit that someone else has helped us. And admitting gratitude can create uncomfortable feelings of indebtedness.
Can we consciously choose to become more grateful and thus happier? Yes, I do believe it is a choice. Chronically unhappy people do not greatly differ from happy people in terms of their life circumstances -- they just approach life with a different set of attitudes. Unhappy people tend to see themselves as victims of their past, and feel entitled or exaggeratedly deserving when good fortune comes their way. Happy people are thankful that good things happen to them -- even though their lives might be no better than those of the unhappy people next door. We cannot always alter the events of our lives, but we can alter our attitudes.
What, specifically, can we do to become more grateful?
Make an effort to speak about your life using words of gratitude even if you do not feel very grateful. Though it seems counterintuitive, we can become more grateful by forcing ourselves to feign gratefulness that we do not initially feel. Speak in terms of gifts and givers, not regrets and setbacks. Refer to yourself as blessed or fortunate, not deserving or lacking. Say that you live in abundance, not in need. For example, say "I feel so grateful when I can sleep through the night," rather than "Most nights I wake up every few hours."
Incidentally, if you are struggling to get to sleep at night, don’t count sheep, count your blessings. Grateful people sleep better and longer than ungrateful people, and wake feeling more refreshed.
What is the secret to being grateful in the face of struggle or tragedy?
The secret is not to wait until tragedy strikes. Become more grateful while your life is running smoothly, so that gratitude becomes an ingrained part of your "psychological immune system." That will make it easier to view difficulties as temporary and surmountable setbacks, or even as opportunities in disguise.
A grateful person mourns the passing of a close friend, but he/she also feels lucky to have known the friend as long as he did, and is glad that he has so many other friends remaining.
Many prayers are expressions of gratitude. So, do religious people have an advantage when it comes to actually feeling gratitude and being happy?
Yes, to some degree. One of the foundations of virtually every religion is that people should give thanks to God and to each other. Religious texts and religious teachings typically provide models of how to be grateful, such as prayers of gratitude and rituals of giving thanks. Spirituality appears to be particularly helpful for maintaining a grateful outlook in the face of suffering and adversity.
Bottom Line/Retirement interviewed Robert A. Emmons, PhD, professor of psychology, University of California, Davis. A leading scholar of positive psychology, he is author of Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier (Houghton Mifflin).
That's the end of the article.
So, if you want to be happy which leads to wellness, one of the things you can do is start a gratitude journal and before you go to sleep at night, record two or three things for which you are grateful. You will sleep better, feel better, and feed that happiness that creates wellness!
Have a Great (and Grateful!) Week.
Michelle Providing a source of inspiration and wellness through the unity of Mind, Body & Breath.
